I got the bills for the funeral paid off first. That is a lot more than you think it will be, in fact I was pretty shocked by the costs of the first place I spoke with and went to shop around elsewhere for all of the stuff that you need. Of course the fact is that we did not spend a ton of money on the coffin, but we found a place that makes really nice monuments in nj and it is the more important thing to us. Of course the grave plot was not a problem for me. She is buried right beside my Dad, even though I am not sure that she would be thrilled with that idea at this point. Still the plot belonged to her and for a long time the two of them got on very well. The rest of the deal is not going to be much fun at all, because there is a bit of money involved and there are a lot of people in my family who never think that they are getting enough of anything.
In particular there is my younger sister and she is already making her position clear. She has tried to get hold of the bank accounts. She walked into the bank and started a big fuss, but the bank manager told her that she was not the executor of the estate. Of course Mom had rather little in the bank. She was keeping nearly all of it in her investments and although no one else knows it, she has already given away a big chunk of it. She and her lawyer and I sat down about a year and a half ago and she told us what she wanted done. So we gave away a lot of the money.